Da Teefs

Seems that my toothache is not going away.  I even called ER line for my dentist: she called back from Canada, which means I'll have to wait on pain killers.  Hopefully, this New Year's day will not be filled with every-moment pain.  Well, after all, it's just a tooth, and if I have to pull out two more after this one, it is not going to change much.  I hope teeth-pulling fairies understand it, too.
Everything else is great and I got no problems I can think of at this time.  I was told at work that I will not have to come in on January 1st and that really improved my mood.

many say it's all about oxycotin and prolactin. those are clearly "junkies"

Well, as expected, nothing unusual happened on supposed end of the world.  There was some night attempts to ruin my sleep, but they were dealt with.  I purchased a lot of food and drinks at Sun Hing Market on 86th Street and filled my fridge with lots of tofu, bean curd, lotus buns, pumpkin buns, sesame buns, juices, drinks, bananas, pickles and huge bottle of French yellow mustard.  I brewed extra strong tea from various kinds of teas including coca tea and now I have it in bottles.  Well, actually I already drank most of them, just one left.  I used "old" style Coca Cola bottles, which I like. I am planning to see my parents, give my father the new bluetooth headset and give Max several boxes of Cesar dog food that he likes.  I will also bring chocolates to them, which I got as present at work.  These are not my major gifts for New Year, of course.  Also, I am planning to buy expensive wine and maybe champagne for the New Year's dinner, but I think I can do it later.  I should collect clothes and take them to laundry tomorrow as well as clean dishes.  I was putting it off for few days and now it starting to look messy.

to eat pizza or stick with noodle soups?

I bought many more little New Year presents this week, however, I did not buy the gift I planned to buy for myself - a new computer - because it doesn't seem there are or will be any decent sales around New Year.  I still did not book a vacation.  I was set to go to Israel, but I don't want to go into war zone or sit half a day in bomb shelter, or get army personnel policing me when I am going to a public bathroom - it's not safe to go there now so it will have to wait.  I set myself for that trip so now I don't know where else I would like to go.

Tomorrow I have to be at work an hour earlier, so it would make sense to go to bed earlier.  Maybe it's the rain that lasts for more than three days, on and off, maybe I didn't take any vacations all year and tired of routine working weeks, maybe it's something else, but I feel more like sleeping rather than working lately.  I am enjoying sitting at computer browsing the web, playing online games with sound off, not having TV on, no stereo music, just sitting quietly and smoking.  Today I had rice with chickpeas and potato wedges for lunch. Also, I had vegetable eggrolls.  At home I ate spiced pre-made oatmeal plate that was sitting frozen in my fridge since day before yesterday.  Lately I've been chatting over emails more with my old school friend who now lives in Poland.  He mentioned that I can come visit him, but I don't feel like going to Poland.  I heard that some people think the world will end in three days and noticed a lot of links related to December 21, 2012 on the web.  On the other hand, there are plenty of links that say that by next year humanity is going into a new enlightened existence.  I think both possibilities are 99% unlikely to occur.  Maybe I will buy some vegan pizza slices tomorrow.  I don't know yet how I will feel about this idea tomorrow.

3 days of feasting

I had exquisite food three days in a row: day before yesterday I decided to feast on cheeseless pizza and new sort of falafel sandwich and some fancy pickles and cucumbers, bread and juice from Cherry Hill.  Yesterday I attended an Annual Christmas/Hanukkah dinner at El Caribe and had lots of fancy food topped with Eggplant Napoleon (super delicious).  Today it just so happened that working day was so busy I couldn't spare even 10 minutes for lunch downstairs and ordered out around 3:30pm: had 6 rolls of splendid avacado sushi and miso soup.  Lately I've been smoking Rothman's and Classic (red).  Classic are rather good cigarettes, at least compared to Rothman's.  Playing same games, drinking lots of coffee and caffeinated beverages, buying different holiday gifts for self and others here and there...since I received a 5% raise at work and a "thank-you" letter for good job performance.  And today I found out that I even won 50$ Whole Food Gift card in work raffle.  That's probably the most I've won so far in all lotteries and raffles that I ever participated in.  Gemini meteor shower started and it will last until late night Friday.

sick day

Well, I got sick at work  yesterday, so I called in sick today because I wasn't able to function: it was hard to breathe, my nose was dripping all the time and it still is.  I bought a lot of medications and keep taking them every 4 hours.  Went to acupuncturist -  she said I have severe cold or flu.  I couldn't sleep all night because of it, so I sort of felt asleep at acupuncturist's office during the session.  She said I was snoring very loudly.

I spent all day playing Godfather Five Families, obtained two new neighborhoods and rose in ranks. I am not visiting parents tomorrow, don't want to get them sick, so I'll do the same, I guess.  There is nothing else to do anyway except taking medication.
A friend from another country sent me a gift, a book by Pelevin, called "T".  I read more than 200 pages so far.  It's hard to read, as anything popular in masses and/or blasphemous material, but eventually I'll finish reading it.  If I wouldn't feel getting sick from specific client, I would probably think reading it made me sick...But we have to know our contemporary literature and norms and morals to fit better in this dying, yet laughing society.  In a way, I respect that: the world is like a slowly dying patient who refused prescribed treatment and keeps boozing and overmedicating on pain meds thinking it will make it all better in the long run.  But, from my working experience, usually such joy ride ends very tragically, alas.  On second thought, no, I don't really respect that, I think it's not very bright at all.

more "bonding time" with parents

Yesterday my parents decided to buy me a new refrigerator, because my old one stopped working.  I was supposed to buy it and they would help me with transportation, as I planned.  However, evening before Black Friday it so happens that my bank card was temporary closed due to unrecognized charges and I had no money, so they bought it for me.  It's a nice 4.5 Frigidaire refrigerator, just the right size for me.  Today I was compelled to spend the day with them hanging out in New Jersey malls.  Of course I didn't buy anything, even though I withdrew some money, because I wasn't needing anything.  It seems awkward to spend so much time with parents at my age, but it's obvious that my personal life ain't happening on this planet, so I accept this awkwardness as part of my life.
Tomorrow my father will come to help me install refrigerator.  I could do it myself easily, but I think he wants to spend some time outside his apartment.  It's pointless to go to flee market for him tomorrow, since it's way too cold.  Instead of extra money, he'll get a pneumonia and that could cost a lot to heal.  It's really cold now outside, but there is no snow.  The weather keeps cooling now.  I think we are going to have a very cold winter.

Thanksgiving

I wonder if I will get Thanksgiving off.  Then there would be a reason to be thankful for something on that day.  I was told that I will get an increase in salary.  Maybe it's a sign I can afford a new computer?

war in Israel?

I decided to postpone buying a new computer because my current computer is still functioning after repair and since I could have used money to purchase tickets to Israel where I was planning to go early next year.  The relatives in Israel called and said that rockets are flying, war is starting and this is not the time for a visit.  In fact, they wondered if they can come to US if things get rougher.  I wonder if it means I can use these money to get that computer after all.  Anyway, my refrigerator is kaput and I need to buy a new one.  My mother went to theater today and my father has nothing to do, so maybe he'll take me to some far away store where I can get it at a discount.  Also, this Sunday the super of building is coming to fix rusted pipe under sink, so I'll be able to use it.

hip hop hurray

Very busy at work, as predicted.  Every other client wants to sue: seems to be newly-discovered source of income in collapsing economy.  Elections are over, no changes.  Nobody knows whether changes would be good or bad, but changes always scare people away from comfortable stability, that is why they usually elect the leaders with some slogans about changes, because everyone knows that leaders don't usually keep their words.

The Storm Athena came: everything is in snow.  I doubt I'll be able to use car tomorrow, but at least I got electricity and internet unlike some folks.  Just found from the Weather Channel there is another blizzard on the way, called Brutus.  I wonder if giving names to storms makes their effects easier... It must be some psychological effect: it has a name, it must bleed, if not shit, then it must eventually die as well.  I have a feeling we will go through the whole Greek and Roman mythology names this fall-winter season... next one will be Hephaestus, I suppose.

same ol', same ol'.

It got colder today.  Tomorrow it will be cold as well, and on Wednesday we are expecting some kind of blizzard or windy/rainy follow-up to hurricane Sandy.  There is a flood watch in our area.  It's a very slow Apocalypses that makes you worry more about job stability then salvation of eternal soul.  It's still too far before everything around us changes and people start losing their minds.  Gasoline is still hard to find, with long lines.   My coworker bought me some Georgian food: bread and eggplant in special sauce.  It was very tasty.  I got a lot of canned foods for upcoming Nor'Easter, lots of coffee and cigarettes.  It is very busy at work, obviously, with more sick people coming in every day.  I bet we are going to have twice more in the second part of the week, since electricity and heat are still absent in many areas and snowy storm that is on the way will not make it any better.  My refrigerator stopped working.  I need to buy another one.  Hurricane Sandy went softly on the area where I reside and I am able to buy food locally.  I was invited to Annual Tea next Tuesday by Bikur Cholim.  Oh, tomorrow is election.  I won't vote, as usually. 

Sandy

It's Hurricane Sandy's time in Brooklyn.  Trees felt on several cars at work, many employees remained stuck at work because the mass transportation is not working and wind is blowing the rain all around.  My little Japanese umbrella didn't hold up and I'll need another one.  I was driving back from work when two large branches felt across the road and blocked it: this is the most excitement this storm brought so far.  I parked my car in a place with no trees around.  I hear a lot of sirens outside, but not sure whether these are ambulances, fire trucks or police cars.  Streets are empty, shops are closed.  We expect the same tomorrow.  The phone, lights and internet are still working, although internet was off for a short while.  Now TV picture is getting pixilated...  Tomorrow is another day like that.  The only good thing is that The Big Ball was cancelled and I don't have to dress up an extra time after work.

not much to say

Playing mostly Godfather Five Families, even was promoted to Underboss in Cuneo Family.  Spent another 20 bucks on that game to upgrade buildings.  Barely play WoT now.  Check on Castle Empire for 15 min per day or so.  Working late often: for some reason something  comes up every day at the end of it.  Don't know if it is actual work if I am not doing much physically, but I get tired each day, so I guess it is.
Had several peaceful nights in a row now.  Doubt it will last for long.  Today at work we discussed possibilities of getting hit by a hurricane Sandy, but I doubt it will reach NY.  Lately smoking mostly Kent.  I noticed that I am not hungry all the time anymore and I started to eat less.  Sometimes I even skip lunch or dinner.  I drank a lot of coffee today...yesterday...day before that...  Thinking of buying a new computer, but doubt I could afford it.  Check the sites anyway...  Mother was told she doesn't have gallstone surgery right away, we are waiting.  She will do more testing this Saturday.  I have to remember to go to barber shop this weekend, so I could look presentable at Ball I have to attend next week.  It's part of work.  Got a 5-year service pin, even though I am at same place for 7 years.  Life is like a cigarette: burning to the filter even when you try not to inhale.  Then filter will burn...slowly compared to tobacco...only ashes will remain.  The only question is who needs all this nicotine, tar and carbon monoxide.  Is it for stress, hunger or for pleasure?

sabbath every day

Yesterday had vegan pizza and garlic nuts, today cooked rice with herbs, placed them in sushi seaweed wrappers and made flat sandwiches.  Last week was very busy at work, this week was busy as well, so I had to stay over now and then after work.  Mostly playing Godfather: Five families, sometimes W.o.T, checking in on Castle Empire.  Last week I found a download link on web for Wizard 101.  I accidentally pressed it and now I am finding myself enjoying a kids' game for longer time than I expected.  It is sort of Harry Potter style plot with cards.  Bought a new keyboard: Russian and English in-one.  Had a physical exam at work: my health is great, I just need to lose 10 pounds or so.

money is flowing away fast...

Another "bonding day" it seems, with parents.  We spent most of the day at New Brunswick Toyota dealership negotiating the new lease on parent's Rav4.  We left on a brand new Rav4 and went to celebrate good deal in a restaurant Atmosphere.  It was very expensive and I felt that we could eat more for the price.  Everyone was very tired by the end of the day.  I played World of Tanks the rest of the evening, mixing it with occasional check ups on Castle Empire.  I found a great little (unfortunately, short) game called "I'm Alive".  I already finished the easy mode and now playing in normal mode 2nd time.  It's a very original game compared to what is out on the market.  I am still waiting for all DCLs to be added to Borderland 2, Hitman Absolution and some others, while hoping that price will come down for Sleeping Dogs so I could buy it.  For some reason I don't rush to replay Max Payne 3.  No good DCLs came out yet.  At home my refrigerator overfroze and I had to defrost it.  Now it's almost no food in there, except lots of Mexican mango juice cans and Chinese mantou buns.  I've seen grandfather in my dreams a lot lately, not my grandmother though.  My parents are still grieving, even though they try to entertain themselves not to think about grandmother's passing.  I still feel that  playing the computer games is the best therapy to get my brain completely out of real world.  Life goes on and then it disappears.  If there is no one left to remember you, than maybe you never existed.  That's how our brain thinks...maybe that's why many consider a "must" accomplishment leaving posterity in children, so they wouldn't be forgotten soon even without making a name for themselves in the world, to validate themselves as something that "was" after they are gone.  I still think computer games substitute this brain worry well.  Tomorrow I hope to get more sleep, take dirty laundry to laundramat, buy some food, help mother w/computer issues over Team Viewer and stay locked out of the rest of the world as much as possible.  I find comfort in keeping it that way.

we all die anyway

We moved grandmother's stuff all week.  Apartment will be vacated very soon.  It seems I spend a lot of time with my parents lately because of it.  Today is beginning of Rosh Hashana.  My mother will be preparing a holiday table and invited me.  It will be the first New Year without grandmother.  She wasn't able to come in the past few years, but we would always call her and then come with a visit.  We already visited her grave again.  I took a day off tomorrow partly because it is still allowed to take days off for religious holiday celebrations.  No whining, it's life.

rainy evening

Just came back from restaurant where my parents and me ate after moving some of grandmother's belongings.  Dropped 5 huge bags at Salvation Army store, gave out some stuff to neighbors, took some stuff to my apt and parent's apt.  Tomorrow will get together again to do the same, maybe go to storage facility and drop off some more stuff.  Next week: same plan.  I guess I am spending more time with parents than before, even after grandfather died.  They are still arguing about everything though, so some things don't change.  I found a new escape not to think too much at www.worldoftanks.com.  This game should take my brain off thinking for few months.  It's entertaining as well.

Things get worse

Today we buried my beloved grandmother.  Nobody thought she will die so suddenly.  She was sick for a long time, but on Tuesday she said she felt heart aches and chills, so we gave her extra strength Tylenol 500mg and we called an MD to her apartment the next morning.  MD came on Wednesday.  He found her stable, temperature went down, he said she's fine and there was no need for hospitalization.  On Thursday she had temperature again.  We did just like days before, gave her 500mg Tylenol, planning to call MD the next morning to come check on her.  She was next to sleep-in home attendant who was told she'll get money if she will call the family if grandmother's temperature will go up or she will report feeling any sicker.  Then we would call MD and ask him if there is a need to take her to hospital immediately.  Nobody called us until 4:40am.  She was dead then.   Home attendant vouched that grandmother did not complain on fever and did not ask to call us, so she seemed to die in her sleep.  Her body was still very hot when I got there, but she wasn't alive.  We buried her at Beth El cemetery next to my beloved grandfather.  At the funeral, even my mother mentioned that she was raising me like a second mother.  Everyone around seemed to know that as well.  I found out that it was not easier or harder whether your loved one dies unexpectedly or within exact predicted range of days.    After funeral we went to Tbilisi restaurant with everyone who attended funeral to celebrate her life.  It's not really a Jewish tradition, but that's how we were raised.  We thought it would make us forget and feel better.  But as always, computer games take my mind away from all this much better.  I drank a glass of wine for the first time in 6 years, since my grandfather died.  I didn't like this experience at all.  I didn't like the first experience as well.  Come to think of it, I don't have many recollections of experiences in my life that I liked.  My friend who visited me for a week left few days before this ordeal.  I decided not to contact him.  I don't want to talk about it.  I spent two days with parents, sleeping at their apartment.  We got somewhat closer, I think, but I don't know for how long.  I lost the will to wait for good things to happen to me.  I don't think it's happening.  But it's okay.  Fuck it.  It's a short life.

no title

 Only the first day after vacation was easy, the rest of the week was quite busy.  Today we found out that grandma has temperature.  She refused to take even Tylenol without seeing an MD, who is coming to see her at home tomorrow.  I spoiled myself with food from Alice's Uniquely Vegetarian Restaurant, formerly Wendy's Plate yesterday and today I had a falafel sandwich on Avenue M (very good).  Drink a lot of lemonade, smoke, play TF2.

TF2 now has new Mann vs Machine campaigns, but so far they weren't that interesting.  Now all regular multiplayer servers are lagging and some can't connect to updated inventory, except the new servers are working great.  I am at level 28 at Castle Empire. Ate bread with spinach and artichoke hummus, it's not as bad as it once used to taste.  I guess my food taste is currently in Mediterranean area, unknown for how long yet.

Had a tea-coffee after work: brewed tea leaves for three days to get very potent tea, then put double espresso in there.  No effect, but it's time to go to bed and I am still anxious for no apparent reason.  Maybe I had more than usual Liquid Ice energy drinks today.  Don't know how I am going to get any sleep tonight, but one thing for sure: if I don't than working tomorrow is going to be twice harder.  I'll try.

back in a working condition

First day at work after the vacation was an easy day.  I had vegetarian lasagna at lunch, with "dirty" rice and vegetables.  I also had a Tomato Basile soup and lots of coffee.  I finally tried London State 555 full-flavored cigarettes and found them to be not bad at all.  In fact, I am getting two more cartons after trying them.  They are the next best thing after my usual favorite brand Seven Stars.  Yesterday I spent a lot of time playing TF2 and did better than ever before as a Sniper.  Maybe I will spend some money on that game later on and be even better, as your gaming gets better with each improved weapon you get.

I have a strange mood today, not sure how to categorize it, but it is something new.  It feels more positive than negative, but it is hard to figure out where it came from and why, or how long it will occur in me.  Maybe it has something to do with a pleasure of not losing a job for no reason after a vacation.  Makes me feel a little bit more secure.  I am drinking San Pellegrino limonata and have another can of it in refrigerator.  Put Synovate check onto account.  Tires had low pressure and I pumped air in them.  Will play TF2 again, because there is nothing else to do except to check on my Castle Empire online game.  Meaningless life - it relaxes mind for some reason.  I am sure there will be some negative long term effects, but I am trying to see it from human perspective: short term effects are only effects.  My car now has new CD: Witcher 2 Soundtrack.

Secret Crap

As much as Witcher 2 turned out to be a pleasant surprise, the new game I am playing - Secret World - turned out to be an unpleasant one. Another zombie-shooting realm after a rip-off beginning from Matrix, which was promising of more interesting stuff.  To play the game I needed to register: apparently, it comes with free month of membership for $14.  I wonder if I have to pay more just to play this game further.  Actually, most likely I will not play it too long either way.  Maybe it's a good game for younger generations who don't expect a lot for such expanding use of computer resources and waiting time.  Witcher 2 was loading long too, but it had amazing graphics to justify it.  Witcher ended sooner than I wanted to, sort of abruptly.  At the end, I decided not to fight Letho.  It's a game after all, and I don't have to play an asshole scenario if there are other possibilities.  I am off to play Castle Empire and TF2 with kids, it's more exciting that this Secret World.

Witcher 2

I am still on vacation and enjoy it very much, even though I don't do much but eat, sleep, play computer.  Dreams are getting more and more unreal, like computer games.  Very enthusiastic about Witcher game, play it for at least 10 hours a day and only half done with it.  It's clearly a contender for Game of the Year.  I am glad it did not come via Steam, or it would be stalling twice more than it does.  Bought Turkish buns, they are amazingly delicious, almost ate whole bag in a day.  Drinking mostly Aloe Vera juice.  Yesterday treated myself to a Mango Coolata (mango juice mixed with crushed ice) at local DD/BR joint.  Noticed that my body temperature went down slightly first time in 15 years.  Most likely, due to successful balancing.

New Game: Witcher

Lately I was playing TF2 multiplayer, but yesterday I installed Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings Enhanced Edition and what a marvelous, time consuming game it turned out to be.  For example, yesterday I played 9 straight hours until early morning.  Then I slept a lot, with usual "mystical" dreams.  The postman brought the package with Seven Stars right to my door.  Unfortunately, it appears my parents are leaving on vacation at same time when my European friend will come to visit.  That means I will have to drive after work to grandmother, help her with her "legs equipment", then rush to walk the dog and somehow commute back and forth to my apartment to entertain guest.  These are not really problems, just nuisances.

I saw Alice The Acupuncturist and she helped me again.  Some people are just good and able...I guess she is one of them.  I am not sure that I am either, but I can strive to be good if I want...so far no special craft to make me able.  I cleaned in the kitchen today, sort of, and took more suits to dry cleaners.

so-called life

The hitter's car insurance admitted 100% liability and I received a check that should cover all charges for repairing the car.  Hurray!
I keep playing Castle Empire, already on level 24.  Was able to find Bioshock bundle on sale and added it to Steam.  Same story with Psychonauts, which I am in a process of replaying now.

Just purchased almost 60 bucks worth of food in Stop and Shop: lots of soy based products that are hard to find in other supermarkets.  No more bus commuting, lots of food, taking a two week vacation - happy. I have to visit dentist again soon.  My savings are depleted and I am taking vacation in Brooklyn, not going anywhere.  Just got a call that an old friend from Europe is coming for a visit in three-four weeks.  Other than that, there are no news.  I am planning to do nothing for 2 weeks.  Lots of time for sleep.  Already brought two suits to dry cleaners, will have to get all of them for cleaning within this time frame.  Right now I got some cold, sneezing, coughing.  Already went to Russian Baths yesterday evening and feel much better.  I think it will pass in two-three days.  If not, I will see my acupuncturist and go to banya again.

happy extinction

Played Tropico 4: Modern Times.  Sat all evening playing long-forgotten Team Fortress 2, when team members turned on their microphones turned out I was playing with pre-schoolers.  That did not mean I did any better than during previous TF2 games.
The car insurance of the guy that hit me sent me a letter explaining how it was partially not their client's fault, so they won't go for 100% liability. Basically, they go against my account of events AND police report without any witnesses of the opposite.  In a way, it's possible to see how how it could be true: for example, someone who gets shot or raped is partially responsible for event since they were walking minding their business at that time in that area.   But serving few months for getting raped, shot or hurt is not reasonable, so why do I have to accept check that won't cover the damages and pay more out of my savings? I fear it's going to be a very upsetting week of fruitless phone calls.

car accident

Just got back from a ride on a tow truck.  My car looks like it's not going to ride anymore: the tire is almost out, can't open the front door fully, bumper is half-off and that is just beginning of problems.  Some dude decided to make a U-turn in the middle of a busy street crossing the double yellow lines without checking that there was a green light to oncoming traffic.  In a way I was lucky: if I didn't automatically pull the wheel to the right, I could have been dead now.  My car's skid-marks on the street were telling the whole story, I just needed to point to them to police crew.  If they would come an hour sooner, they would have seen the water from his radiator right in the middle of street as his car was perpendicular to both driving lines.  Water evaporated by the time they arrived.  He had to move his car or he would block all traffic on both sides.  A fireman tried to drive my car closer to the sidewalk, but they didn't risk driving it (wasn't going much), so they put it in neutral and five or six firemen pushed it closer to pavement.  The dude in the other car admitted to police that he was doing an [illegal] U-turn right in front of me.  He had only frontal damage, broke his radiator, too, so he had to admit it.  Hopefully policemen will mention it in the report.  If not, it still looks like totally not my fault.  Because it clearly wasn't.  Two blocks from my home, too...such a nuisance.

 I really like my car.  It would be a pity to have it totaled.  Maybe mechanics will fix it...maybe not: looks like a damage to whole axis.  I don't know where I'm getting this extra money to fix the car, so I'll have to wait for a probable insurance check.  Meanwhile, I will have to get to work and back on public transportation.  This could last weeks.  Parents suggested to rent a car.  They were really helpful, came to give me money for tow truck, etc.  
I decided to restart playing Castle Empire from the very beginning under new nickname.  I don't feel like finishing Far Cry 2.

Putting points back in life

Yesterday finally finished the last extra mission in Tropico 4 and played some of the "build-yourself" challenges.  Today I took a day off to get replacement of my driver licence and registration.  The day is very hot.  I stopped by NetCost Market and bought carrot juice, Tarhun, Baikal, Italian risotto rice, Polish Macedonski soup.  I don't feel like continuing playing Far Cry 2, even though it seems to be getting better with weapon upgrades.     I had an argument with my parents this holiday and got verbally nastier than usual.  I guess it was a cumulative effect of their guard-prisoner like relationship with me.  Surprisingly, I noticed that peoples were nicer to me today, even let me get ahead of them in line at DMV and supermarket.  I have many theories about it, but no definitive answer. As I was waiting for a subway train on NY Aquarium/W8th Street, I recalled that I was working cleaning the streets on Surf Avenue when I was 16 and that was the same spot I used to sit on waiting for train to go home from work, only the seats looked different.  I noticed that I was sitting with very similar feelings, feeling about the same as now.  It felt like after 21 years of life everything was pretty much the same as it was then, except feelings were conscious and well-understood, and instead of vegetative youthful existence there is an aged, matured version of same.  I also noticed that the soundtrack of  S.T.A.L.K.E.R. that I like to hear so much while playing these game series incorporates that same sound I can hear near or on subways when the train is coming to a stop.  Tomorrow I will go back to work.  

extra motions

My wallet with all identifications mysteriously disappeared while I was at work.  It is still possible I accidentally dropped it out of my workbag between parking spot and place of work.  I filled out a security report at work.  Got there on a bus, since my father demanded for me not to drive until I will get replacements of all documents, because his friend told him that penalty may not end at heavy fines.  On the way back from work stopped by Meats Supreme and got 1 1/2 pounds of fried eggplant, some buns and hero breads.  I also bought Simply Lemonade 2.7Qt bottle.  My dinner was spectacular.  Tomorrow is 4th of July holiday, I will be off work.  I took Thursday off to go to DMV or I will not be able to drive for 2 weeks since that's the time period promised for applying for replacement online or via mail.

acupuncture session

It was a hot day and very busy at work, however, I left almost on time.  After work I went to see Alice and now I feel much better.  Prepared couscous, olive/garlic flavor, with small pieces of spiced tofu.  Still have half of saucepan of it for tomorrow.  Installed and played an hour of Silent Hill 4: The Room.  Then deinstalled it.  I guess I would spend much more time tinkering with it about 20 years ago.  Installed and started playing Far Cry 2.  Not bad, although it slowly gets repeatable, like Dead Island.  Found out that next Wednesday is an official day off.  That's great.  Looked for possible vacation spots, but it looks like my finances are not ready for anything at this time, so most likely I will take it in Brooklyn.  I am off to play Far Cry 2.

Finished playing the second extra mission in Tropico 3, only one left.  If sandbox will be boring, I think I will install FarCry2, since I still have it unopened.  Deus Ex is still not working and I moved it to "damaged" category on Steam.  Father took my car for annual inspection without me asking, so I was pleasantly surprised.  Mother cooked a good dinner including mushroom soup.  Dog had diarrhea and I cooked some rice for him.  Parents got a new printer with E-Print feature: it's kind of interesting.   I have to pick up laundry tomorrow.  Also, I could buy some instant couscous. Watching Psych Marathon on ION channel.  I had a realization after checking my stats: I could put messages out or discuss something important since I have more hits lately for unknown reason.  I thought long and hard and decided that I have nothing else to share with the world.

hot week

Staff picnic at work: I ate two veggie burgers with two veggie patties on each.  Also, I had a vegetable burrito and 2 diet Cokes.  I ate at 12pm and I haven't eaten anything since then, because I am still full.  It was a busy day at work and I left late.  On the way back went to Stop and Shop and got Simply Lemonade in a large new styled bottle, 4 different bagels, baby potatoes, red sliced onions, toilet paper and anti-gas pills, cubed tofu, pack of soy cheese.  It was a very hot day (almost hottest day on record).  Tomorrow will be another scorcher, as well as the day after tomorrow.   But, if the weather station is not mistaken, next week will be much cooler.  I will continue to play Tropico 4: it's a really relaxing game.

weekend starts

Slower-paced day at work.  I had mashed potatoes and small bowl of pieces of broccoli and fried mushrooms for lunch.  I got hungry later during the day and had a trail-mix-like snack with two granola bars. Lots of coffee and Liquid Ice.  I decided to postpone acupuncture.  Upon arriving home, I had lots of radish with sprinkled sugar on top,flat bread and lots of hazelnuts for dinner. I will eat the bowl of cherries later today.  Still playing Tropico 4.  The Steam techs gave up on sending me tips how to fix Deus Ex game.  I guess I won't be playing it.  Tomorrow I will visit parents and help with computer.  On Sunday I will visit grandmother.  On Monday - back to work.  Boring, yet somewhat comforting.

readers don't write and at least that is good

Deus Ex: Human Revolution played only once for 4 hours and then it did not play anymore.  The next few days was all about emailing Steam support techs trying to find out how is it possible that game plays perfectly well and then would not start without any setting changes.  The answer is still unknown.  I received a good news today: bank decided to give me $1,000 back after it was stolen from my account a week ago.  The weather was rainy mostly, still rains now; it was still somewhat busy at work, but I left on time.  The weather is predicted to be rainy for tomorrow as well.  Some people from Canada and India accessed my email accounts and I still don't know what interesting stuff they hoped to find there.  I smoke Seven Stars again after short break with left-over Winstons and sale-priced Golden Gate.  It feels much better now.

I like the new suit my parents bought for me at Burlington Coat Factory.  Maybe because I chose it.  I got vegan sweets at work as a present: 2 bags of unbelievably addicting and tasty Barry's Bakery Original French Twists.  My BioLite portable stove was redelivered, but I wasn't home, so I will pick it up at UPS location tomorrow during lunch time.  I couldn't reroute it because I had to cut up my credit card and they require additional fee to do so.  In the meantime, I am continuing to play Tropico 4 from where I left it after installing Max Payne 3.  I drank a lot of coffee today.  I may need some acupuncture by the end of the week: for general health.

Pesto Sushi Rolls

Grandmother is out of hospital, finally.  Tomorrow she will get 24-hour care, but today parents are staying with her.
I spent half of day at a health fair in the community.  It was very easy, chilling, more enjoyment than work.  After the event, I wanted to do flyers in Russian for Sunday's health fair, but my volunteers mysteriously disappeared and I got a small flood of things to do before the end of day, so the flyers weren't done.  On the brighter side, it is very possible we found a person to do blood pressure check up and will definitely get many give-aways on Sunday.  Hopefully, everything will work out.
I finished playing Max Payne 3.  Tried multiplayer, but not many are on it yet.  Arcade mode is okay.  Overall, it's a good game, but under 23 hours overall playing time.  I installed Deus Ex: Human Revolution.  The start was horrible, but as I am progressing into game, character customization slowly kicks in and makes is better with each hour.  Yesterday I cooked too much rice and did not know what to do with it, so I made sushi rolls (lots) with pesto sauce, garlic salt and amazing seaweed flakes from Japanese supermarket and Kikkoman's soy sauce.  Today I have plenty of sushi rolls for dinner.

disappointing

Max Payne 3 is not working out the way I expected it to be.  I am finding myself taking breaks while playing, which is not really a sign of a great game.  The requirements for game are well met, but it's stalling, plays slow, it's just one bullet time to the next.  Figured out how to make shooting target mark better, but still can't figure out how to make the game run faster.  It's like work, it's not entertainment.
Visited same Maoz restaurant in Manhattan today.  Had another lecture.  Tomorrow is another day at work.  I just had spiced tofu and big bowl of instant noodle soup.  Sort of senseless existence at this point, as it seems.  But coffee and cigarettes help to make this life slightly better.

in Fancy Part of City

Today I spent most of day in Manhattan improving understanding of medical terminology.  The good news is I got a certificate for it; the bad news is that I have to get there tomorrow early am for another advanced session.  My parents were going to NJ, so they dropped me off today; tomorrow I will need to wake up earlier to be there on time via subway.  I visited very amazing restaurant, with excellent prices and choices.  It's called Maoz Vegetarian, filial of Amsterdam branch.  I think I will go there again tomorrow.  Also, there was a veg fair in Union Square and I bought some vegan cookies (tasty! carrot raisin cookies) and tried free sample of very good rye bread from Finland, called Ruis bread.  I hope they will have same fair tomorrow.

The big news: Max Payne 3.  I started playing around 1am, when it became available.  It is clearly a good game, but maybe I hyped it for myself too much and so far it's great, but not living up to the hype.  The movement of character is not developed to the max, the cross-hair is hard to see on characters, the weapons are so far mediocre.  Maybe they stuck the game on very high graphics, because most of fights almost require bullet time, it seems.  I put on normal settings and it's slightly faster now.  Very slightly.  RockStar had the same issue in LA Noire, that's why it wasn't as popular as it could have been.  Now I am off to play Max Payne, of course, after eating a full bowl of Special K Red Berries with Silk milk.

sunburned

Work related fair outside: no umbrellas or tents provided, windy yet sizzling hot, and I forgot a hat because I did not think this event could be done without some cover considering its location.  In other words, I am spraying first aid spray on my red face and hands.  Otherwise, it was a very professionally successful day.  However, most likely I won't be able to sleep because of it tonight.  Played Tropico 4, will continue to play tonight.  Saturday is a work-related boot camp: 8 hours in Manhattan.  At least I'll be able to relax on Sunday, I hope.
I have to check Steam account: Max Payne 3 should have been already made available.  If so, I will play it, finally.  Grandmother is feeling much better, out of ICU, should be out in few days.

peaceful eveningzzz

Grandmother is feeling better, but one of her lungs is still not doing great.  She refused certain treatments since she is feeling better and hopefully it's a good move.  We will have to figure out how to treat her differently.  It was a rather busy work day and I did not eat that much.  Still playing Tropico 4: it's a game that never gets too boring.  It's less than a week until release of Max Payne 3 on PCs.   I received two new games: Far Cry 2 and Dues Ex: Human Revolution (both on sale), but I will still stick with Tropico 4 until Max Payne game will come out.

The weather channels promised a full week of rains, but there was just short drizzle in early morning and no rain all day.  Somehow, feels like there won't be rain tomorrow either.  The news discuss various hate crimes and police corruption.  Everything is getting predictable.  

Growing older

Today me and my parents went to Mitsuwa Marketplace to celebrate my birthday.  I chose that place because there are no Japanese restaurants in Brooklyn that I know of which serve authentic Japanese cuisine and that mall has 7 or 8 of those restaurants.  The food was delicious (we ate at Kayaba) and very cheap considering its quality.   I bought 50+ dollars worth of exotic foods and drinks and my parents bought twice as much.  After that we went to two malls in Edgewater, NJ.  I bought Hawaiian and Costa Rican coffees at TJMax, then went for espresso and bagels to Panera Bread: definitely not worse than any Starbucks.  After coming back to Brooklyn we went to visit grandmother in rehab facility.  She is doing better.  After drinking some more coffee and watching Russian Musical Show on TV, I came back to play some more of Tropico 4.  It seems this day was very pleasant and successful.  Tomorrow I will overeat on various vegetable onegiri stuffed all over my refrigerator.  I also got two new seasonings: the samples were sensational (seaweed based).  As I am turning 37, I feel that I am getting slightly wiser.  Also, I feel there is a room for progress in philosophy of life and many new beginnings.  I need to work on them, of course.