I need to learn more.

Busy day at work, one of the projects does not seem to get completed for weeks.  Maybe it's because volunteers do it and not me personally, but I have other stuff to do.  At work I had bow tie pasta salad, potato knish, watermelon pieces, a bagel and Special K Red Berry cereal with non-dairy creamer instead of milk.  After work I went to 123 Cafe (I think that's the old name for that Chinese restaurant) and got myself bean curd with broccoli, large veggie broth soup with rice, Snapple and some new drink, called Rare Soy Drink.  I discovered a new ability.  It's entertaining and educational.  No good games will come out up until August of this year.  I am still "playing" Farmerama, level 27.  Still don't feel a pull to continue Hitman trilogy.  Maybe later.

peaceful philosophy of life

Went to my acupuncturist, she helped me to regain some energy so I can go to work tomorrow.  For dinner I had a whole can of red kidney beans, drinking Mr. Brown iced coffee.  In this post I wanted to express my philosophy of life in just few words.  I thought long enough, nothing was coming to mind, but then it suddenly hit me and I wrote it on the adjacent picture.   After that I realized that I have nothing more to say.  Absolutely positively nothing.

no motivation

Strange mood: don't want to play games, don't feel like watching other's chat, don't want to do anything, not even think.  So I played some mini-games, got bored in an hour.  Thought it was depression, so I had a thick espresso with cigarettes, but it didn't help a bit.  Guess it's not depression, just apathy.
It's nice that I don't have to open my mouth at home except for occasional call from parents.  It's nice I could just sit and do nothing after work.  It's quiet.  Next worth playing game comes out only in few months.  Nothing to buy.  Maybe they already ate all the good game programmers and artists.  I was told at work I gained weight.  So I ate a full bowl of potatoes and pasta after I came home.  Meah!

peace on earth and going to a shower.

Played Farmerama, watched some erotica on MFC, since I don't feel like playing Hitman.  Watching other people interact is a sort of exciting game: you get to learn what they say to evoke certain reactions, how they handle certain dialogged scripts that I always have trouble with, get to learn characters, the grimaces, the habits, - the world around you from the comfort of your chair.  You also learn something about yourself.  For example, tonight I learned that I don't want anyone.  Not personally, not for close interactions.  I am comfortable being alone. 

gotta stack on canned food

Went to Valleverde shoes store on Avenue U again, to show that my new shoes did not last more than 3 weeks as well.  The owner was nice, suggested to take the old pair to be fixed and a new pair.  The new pair is regular - not the mini-boots that I bought.  That's sad, but better than nothing, since he was not refunding the purchase.  Knowing that this brand malfunctioned and teared up twice in a row, my father and myself went to Nordstrom where he made an early birthday gift for me: District 3 mini-boots that I chose and a pair of moccasins by Clarks.  Both pairs look wonderful and hopefully will last longer than I expect them to.  We stopped by Marshall's where we bought a jar of cinnamon to be added to espresso.  I also bought myself a Levi Strauss belt with double tongues and double holes throughout the belt.  After that we bought sushi and miso soups at Chop Stix on Nostrand Avenue.  My mother is sick and taking antibiotics, so I got her a Vick's vapor stick.  People on the streets looked not in the spirit and sadly went into many closing stores to purchase stuff on "out of business" sale.  It appeared to me that everyone felt that recession/inflation is here to stay.  On the way back home, we saw a young guy holding a sign stating that the world will end on May 21 this year.  That's just under two months from now.  I simply cannot believe such awful statements: I am still planning to play Max Payne 3 before I die.  However, if it will come out on mandatory Steam platform, I don't care that much.  It will just not be that great.   

enjoying quiet simple moments of life

I picked up my laundry and played little games online since I got bored with Hitman: Blood Money's style of game.  It's great, but too much makes me want to play some easy-thinking shoot-em-up game.  I just had an awesome dish: boiled large shells pasta with pesto sauce, soy cheese flakes, margarine, soy sauce.  Had several espresso cups during the day, took a long nap.  I did enjoy this day: nothing to do, nowhere to go, warm bed with heavy blankets, coffee, cigarettes, silence of TV that was turned off long ago, silence of radio that is never turned on, silence of neighbors that are usually shouting having some crisis or some family issues.  It was a cozy and silent day.  So nice.  Tomorrow is not going to be so nice.  That's why today is so special.

my blueberry-green picture

Gave documents for taxes, paid 90 bucks for the services.  Prices went up, I guess.  Bought at Mets Supermarket: 6 cans of Chick Peas, 2 cans of White Rose black olives, 1 can of Red Kidney Beans, Amy's Texas Veggie Burgers, Sierra Mist soda, three sub buns, one lemon.  Got a haircut.  Also, I left my dirty clothes at laundromat, have to pick them up tomorrow.
The substitute shoes from fancy Italian store did not last more than the last pair: it's probably the whole line of shoes that really suck.  I will request a refund, if possible.  Can't be walking back every 3 weeks to get a new pair.  My Telco sneakers for $16 last already longer with more usage!  This weekend my parents encourage me to go with them to another store to finally buy nice shoes that don't break apart after less than a month of use.  I will do so, I need mini-boots.
It is good to help others who are weaker: you make it for them, and they are likely to leave you alone and get by on their own, without taking your stuff.  I don't know what it means, I just write stuff that comes to mind.  I felt at peace most of the day.  I wear a new 2 dollar hat: very light, very warm, very comfortable.  Bought it in the army store.  Didn't feel like playing Hitman today, mostly Farmerama online.  Noticed that there are some people who read this blog.  Very few, but that's very amazing.  There is nothing interesting in this blog.

Vacation is Over. Next week - go to work!

So, I am back from vacation in New Hampshire.  It was a small, pleasant city with limited number of residents and things to do.  I liked it a lot.  Most of the days I spent meditating, restoring my energy through exercises described in the book I was rereading by Mantak Chia.  Very useful, I think.  As a result of self-study I concluded that:

1) I got slightly smarter and wiser;

2) I smoke too much and maybe should try to limit it to 1 pack a day;

3) I am learning to be more honest with myself;

4) there is definitely more insight I can get in life and lots of things I can and need to learn;

5) Red Chinese tea (not Oolong tea)  is just as good as Irish Breakfast tea;

6) I really do prefer train travel to airplane travel;

7) I should stop thinking that excess of gas is the reason of the fat layer on/under my stomach;

8) there is much more I can accomplish working on myself given the time

last day before vacation

Today many news: tornadoes, earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunami.  I had a headache all day long, too.  Tonight I will drive to parent's apartment, where I will sleep, because we have to head out quite early in the morning to get to Amtrak station.  I am preparing barley kasha with mushrooms, from a package.  I finished the Flatline portion of Hitman, now I am stuck on the next mission.  I don't feel like playing it today, gotta pack my clothes, etc, for tomorrow.

getting prettier from heat...

It wasn't that busy at work.  The rain was showering all day and it's still on.  I had chick peas, onion slices, tomatoes, macaroni bow-tie salad, lots of coffee at work.  Before coming home I got hungry again and had a bagel with another coffee.  Lots of coffee today.  Upon coming home I had an espresso in chocolate soy milk and peanuts.  Maybe I will eat more later, not hungry now.  Tomorrow is my last working day before the vacation.
On the way home I purchased orthopedic inserts for shoes...my Alaskan lamb wool inserts were tucked in...taped them to the orthoinserts, maybe the feet won't get that tired.
I found out that my ex got married and has a good career - I was happy for her.  I wish her to have many kids and live a long and healthy life.  I feel peaceful and relaxed.
link to a cartoon

2 more days

I sent out driver license documents to DMV early in the morning.  After the am meeting there was pretty much nothing to do all day: after three days of hectic running around without much stopping, today was weird.  The weather outside is cold, windy, but my head worked like a battery.  Maybe it's Ash Wednesday thing, who knows.  After work I bought packed socks and underwear with sports pants and a belt for my vacation. Received the inserts for shoes.  Great job from postman: put it in the mailbox, I thought I would need to go to postal office.  Will play Hitman later on, most likely.

Deep space thoughts...

Saw some old dreams tonight.  The ones I saw when I was a little child.  Like the movie.  Many dreams are like movies, or to be more precise, like computer games.  Same characters look different when you perceive them through an adult brain.  Couldn't sleep the rest of the night.  Today there is an early meeting at work.

Also, it's the end of shuttle Discovery's mission and it will be retired by the end of day.  A thought occurred to me: if there would be alien races and they would scan different planets for signs of intelligent life, it is possible they would use different scanning parameters than Earthly scientists, searching not for infrared radiation, or signs of carbon/oxygen/bacteria in the environment of the planet, but certain brain wavelengths.  This way they would be able to find "alien brothers and sisters" and not bother with less developed inhabitants of the Universe.  Because it would be a waste of a lot of fuel to fly from the far reaches of galaxy just to find out the animal/bird/reptile life on some planet.  Maybe alien life is out there, but we as humanity are still not detectable on their long-range scanners.

International Day of Women holiday: 8th of March

At work it was indeed a busy day, I even left later.  There was something to do all the time and I didn't even have time to check the news.  I got lucky: a very nice clinical professional at work helped me to save time going to DMV to renew licence with the eye test.  I guess place where I work has some perks after all.  Legal perks, of course.
After work I purchased a bottle of Ararat cognac and gave it to my father for his birthday.  We ate lots of food, watch TV.
There are a lot of police cars with flashlights zooming on the streets.  Lots of folks carrying flowers.
My boss at work came out of her medical leave for few hours, there was a party with an ice cream cake.  Nobody told me about it.  I found out after I finished working on some cases, but it was too late.  I think if I was supposed to be at the party, someone would inform me, that's how it usually happens.  So I guess it should be ok.
The new shoes ARE a size too big.  I am awaiting the inserts on March 10.  This is my last week before vacation and I wear all-white suit.

Blah blah blah blah

Yesterday was a busy day and today may be just as busy.  The replaced shoes are working out fine, except they are slightly larger in size and my feet slip and get tired easier.  I ordered lamb wool inserts to prevent that, they should arrive by the end of this week.  Keep playing Hitman: Blood Money, mission: Flatline.

I think I captured an expression on my face that I see a lot lately.  Life is somewhat unpredictable.  It must be intrinsically good.  With the emphasis on "intrinsically".

I really like rainy weather for some reason...

Visited grandma, gave mother a ride back to her home.  Ate veggie soup, two veggie cutlets, two teas, fried breaded cauliflower.  It's raining all day long.  Bought usual cans of Arizona Green Tea w/Honey and a Peach Snapple.  I've noticed that I am writing almost every day in my blog now: I could only explain it by lack of decent computer games on the market.
I think I am quite close to the end of the X-Men: Wolverine game.  The only game that will be left after that is the old collection of Hitman Trilogy:  I played the first Hitman on an older, much slower computer and had a problem with some bugs, then I played the second game on it, but did not get further than the first scenario due to video card on old computer.  I will try to see if the gaming experience will be more exciting on the upgraded computer.  Besides, the 3 game set was on a very, very good sale.  And there is not much to play anyway.

Life goes on...

Today shoe store decided to substitute my shoes for another pair.  The new pair doesn't feel as comfortable, but appears to have inside label unlike the previous pair.  Even though the substitute is of another color, I am glad about getting fancy shoes.  It is nice to deal with business people.  It appeared to me that I need to get inserts for the new mini-boots and I ordered them on amazon.com.
Helped out mother with music CDs, watch TV, ate tasty vegetable soup and oladushki.  My father was very helpful today with shoes and got me back home as well.  It is supposed to rain tomorrow but it feels like it is raining now.  I am boiling semolina pasta, spaghetti.  Will add soy cheese flakes, soy sauce, maybe garlic salt.  Everything is swell.

Slow day

The day started out busy but turned to an unusually low-volume work by the second part of the day, which allowed me to come celebrate retirement of several employees.  I had only rice there, yellow and white, since everything else was with meat or eggs.  At lunch I had potatoes, roasted.  Small portion, with four breadsticks and coffee.  Drank a lot of Diet Coke today.  After work I went to a local 99 and up store on Avenue U and West 7th, where purchased five drain openers, 2 lighters, toilet paper.  I already started preparing for my vacation in one week: purchased a small notebook (in case I will have some interesting thoughts I will record them for personal review later) and Visine.

Still playing Farmerama and X-Men: Wolverine.  Received two sampler cartons for a good price.  Smoking Camel now.  It's rather cold outside all day long.  I was told it might rain this Sunday.  Again I did not win anything in lottery.  I don't know why I am still bothering...I never win in it.
There is really nothing I want to share with the world.  I am still undecided what to have for dinner.  Ran out of veggie burgers and bread.  Tomorrow I will visit my parents and hopefully will get money back for the shoes, that even though were sold as super high price, did not last even one month.  Hopefully, the store owner is not a crook.  Can't be too sure nowadays, but hope dies last.

fancy translator day

It was a hot on the inside, cold outside day.  Very busy all the way.  Left work 2hours later.  Reordered Amtrak reservation: they received tickets back and cancelled it.  Policy, as I was explained.  My father insists on seeing the vendor who sold me most expensive and least lasting shoes and it is hard to stop him.  I guess we'll visit him on Saturday.  I slept well yesterday again.  Tonight I will most likely see some scary dreams and tomorrow is going to be another busy day at work.  I made my parents beneficiaries on my retirement plan since I noticed that I am listed as a beneficiary in case of an accidental death: I wouldn't be able to collect in my body.  It's nice to play computer games because for a short while you feel like a character you are playing.  Today I was Wolverine.  Purchased a Sweet Million ticket: guess subconsciously I don't think I am.

Tomorrow is going to be very busy, have to go into community.  Today was semi-busy.  At work I ordered three soft tacos: black bean taco, guacamole taco and yellow rice taco, I think.  I finished eating all veggie burgers yesterday, so now I have to decide between pasta or rice dinner.  Right now I am preparing a chick peas sandwich with soy cheese on a kaiser roll.  I am continuing playing X-Men: Wolverine.  Very good graphics, but slow loading time.  The game is more exciting than I expected, but it feels like a game for a younger person.

...and many more to come

After bragging at work that I look and feel 5 pounds thinner just because I got lots of sleep yesterday (that occurs at long time intervals), I am trying to get some zzz's now, at 3am, and it's just not happening.   Maybe it's because I had an espresso too late after work, maybe because I drank too many Snapple ice teas in a row...they also have caffeine.  It looks like I will be up all night.
So far, looking back at my life, I can't do nothing but smile at fate, at past, at future, at people, at society: no matter what, I stayed strong and kept myself as I wanted regardless of circumstances.  I am still not broken, and I know it's a magnet for Almighty and His beloved...to "work" on.  No matter how this life will turn out, I thank God for making me an unforgiving, unyielding, uncompromising forgiver, passer, compromiser.  Whatever that means.

Horrible news: my new fancy Italian shoes, no matter how expensive they are, no longer hold together!  I need to take them to the shoe repairman.  It is horrible because they were the best fitting shoes...and I am not sure they will be as flexible as they were before repairs.