Three more people today noticed that I gained weight...

I gained 4 pounds. I now weight 224lb.  That is a lot for me.  I need to lose weight.
I think I will stop eating bread.  I already switched from pasta to rice.
I need to stop eating out.  I need to be thinner.  There could be another Holocaust coming judging by the news.

It is boring.  The whole situation is a mess...  Everything is so obvious...  I do not think burning few nuts in power will change anything - it will not make them honest workers, they will steal anyway...  And it appears there is not much more they can "legally" steal...  World is going through another Great Depression...  I must research FDR biography, find out how he managed to get out of crisis.  But I think I understand: by building another pyramid.  It appears that everything build on Earth throughout time is a Pyramid....

I must let myself go...  Meaning, mentally.  I must be ready to seek out new future.  It is doubtful any normal future could transpire in this realm....Things will just deteriorate significantly within time...  This world seems to be dying from overexposure, overuse of resources and just plain lack of responsibilities of leadership.  I was wondering what happens after death.  Do I move on to the world I see in dreams?  I see different worlds...  Not many are better...  I am not sure I would want to look forward towards dieing.  But anyway, nobody gets out of this life alive, as far as we know.  Death is eminent.  It is its timing that is unknown.  Understanding this does not really help my dieting plan.  It does not make me feel that gaining or losing few pounds really matters...  I must find another psychological approach to resolve the issue of my growing stomach...

On the dock of the bay, I guess...

Metro 2033 refuses to play.  Trying to reinstall for the last time...  It's 2:04am, Friday morning, I just finished eating pickles wrapped in soy cheese slices... I got nothing to say, really.  Nothing to write.  No messages to self, no feelings, no emotions.  Just chilling...wasting time.  Maybe I will get sleepy for few hours before work?  I don't really care...  It's definitely not depression though...something else...something is changing... I don't really care what... 

SICK DAY

DUE TO HEALTH CONCERNS I TOOK A SICK DAY OFF.
I am not as young as before and need to worry about my health now over things that just few years ago I wouldn't regard as significant.  As I am aging, quite rapidly internally as I feel due to conditions created for me, I find that rebalancing and recovering my optimum health is not as easy as before.  I suppose I am slowly dying, yet I am able to tolerate it with dignity and nonchalance, as an expected result from prolonged legalized concentration camp for the entertainment and prosperity of humanity.  It was fun living and I doubt I will miss it when my time comes.  However, I am determined not to rush it.  Cheers!
P.S. Whoever fixed my toothache: you did a lousy job, I still feel the scratching and shaking of teeth, it's just numbed ...  but THANKS!  Better than nothing...

I guess I am more of a gamer than a player

I couldn't play Metro 2033 at all.  It wasn't a pirated copy and all qualifications seem to fit.  I tried several times, more than that, nothing works.  It's not great, because game is similar to my favorite genre of S.T.A.L.K.E.R.
After coming from grandmother's apartment, I decided to go to banya (sauna).  Russian Baths on Gravesend Road opened a new large steam room (huge) for males only.  The general admission price was lowered to 25 dollars for the summer.  They no longer serve black tea, however.  I should shave.  The weather outside is very windy, as if there may be storm in the night later on.  I found parking spot really fast - that's unusual.  I was so bored without games I replayed some levels of Light of Altair.  Maybe I will play it some more later.

puzzled by enlightenment....

There is a glitch in loading system in Chronicles of Riddick.  I downloaded a patch, but it did not help.  I can't play beyond certain level.  I finally gave up.  Started playing Attack on Dark Athena with Riddick.  Game is good, but controls are awful.  I decided not to forget that gaming is all about having fun and relaxing brain - so I quit that game, just like I did not finish the Settlers 7: because winning victory points does not allow to just chill, take your time to enjoy game, like in Settlers 6.  Great game, too fast paced though.

I have installed Metro 2033 tonight.  It works through STEAM engine.  Actually, it's 2:22am and it just recently downloaded, so I will start playing it tomorrow.  Hopefully, it will work... Can't ask for more... Games are getting better, but ... less enjoyable... with exception of Fallout 3, of course.
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This picture represents Oneness. 
I found it on the web.  Good picture, smart.
The only problem with Oneness is that it always misses the One.  So, it will all come to one pair, than one....and it will be the wrong one... the bad one... and definitely not me...and then?  What's the point for wholeness then, if nothing is to be done?  Doesn't make sense.  But I am sure that Max Payne 3, when it will come out, will be as good as previous Max Payne game.  We can only hope. 

no news is good news?

Started playing Riddick.  Mouse control should be adjusted....
Tried Fallout Trilogy = ancient, no fun at all.  More of a relic.
Metro 2033 still unopened, until done with CHRONICLES...
Should get a haircut today...Must get shirts to laundromat tomorrow. 
Espresso: Italian Espresso, well-grinded.  Have Turkish and Dunkin Donut on standby.  Use soy milk...now with chocolate.  Veggie Slices cheese - yummm.  Enjoying Tarragon drinks...but should really buy mango juice...

Personal note:  voice of Riddick sounds like voice of Obama.... 

JUNE 1, 2010.

Something is changed since early am.
Do not recall the dreams.
Take a note...what is it?